"The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions"

Oliver Windell Holmes Jr

freedom in imperfection (coil building)

the inevitability of imperfection lends to a freedom of expression. dig in. stir it up. leave a mark.

"there is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

--Nelson Mandela 

a compound in glaze

In nature, copper carbonate is found as the emerald green mineral malachite and the sky blue mineral azurite. Copper carbonate was the first compound to be broken down into several, separate elements in 1794 by the French Chemist, Proust. The basic copper carbonate used in ceramics for glazes is developed through chemical reaction to be converted into malachite. The color can vary from blue to green because of a mixture of copper carbonate and basic copper carbonate and the result of different degrees of hydration. Copper carbonate is used in pyrotechnics, animal and poultry feeds, paint pigments and seed fungicide. It is dangerous if ingested or inhaled, and skin or eye contact will cause irritation and potential burns if prolonged exposure occurs. There are different grades of carbon carbonate in terms of pricing, but it seems to be rather expensive…$30/500g…although there doesn’t seem to be much needed for a large batch of glaze.

the light(ness) in work

            In spite of absolutist clichés, light, or its absence, permeates all aspects of existence. Life, for one, fails to exist without its physical, cyclical presence and absence. We, being the majority of the human population, utilize daylight to carry on life’s functions (except for those who labor during graveyard shifts, for whom I revere with the upmost respect considering my craving for sleep sets with the sun); therefore, it cannot be ignored. In previous years, I tried my best to fight this natural constant by sleeping through all hours of the day (not that I cut any short at night), drawing the shades tight, wearing sunglasses even past dusk…the attempts continue. And so this unalterable daily occurrence compels reflection for its influence beyond our physical dependence.

            So enters art in the conversation of light. As aforementioned, the creation process requires both its presence and its absence, yet the tangible manipulation of light, the conflict of illumination, the want of internal luminosity all interject in the compilation of art. Recognizing the state of internal light is of utmost importance, not just for making art, but also for living life. Without acknowledging and reflecting on the light and darkness in our minds, our disposition, our attitudes, our souls, our intangible elements of existence, how can anything else be effectively communicated through physical representation?

In essence, light is impossible to fabricate devoid of internal sourcing. Of course, the feat may be attempted; the work itself, however, evokes a stronger response if it is the expression and elucidation of our internal state.

The majority of my past work probably concerned my close friends because they knew the darkness inspiring the pieces, but to me, it was brilliance. Not in a narcissistic way by any means, but I finally looked at a final project and knew I created a piece for more than a class assignment. It was as if I materialized my soul in the dark room, or stroked my suffering on a canvas, or stippled agony in the ink.

I existed through my art.

At some level, I hope every artist (i.e. every person) may experience the reality of darkness. Not that I wish suffering on people, but it is through suffering (I call it my dark time) one will fumble through dark recesses and experience a reality too raw to further elude authenticity in life.  The grappling to find one’s internal luminosity creates a canvas for masterpieces.

Once constructed, the display of such pieces must reflect the inspiration of the artist. Dismissing the origin shelves its reasoning, process, thought, purpose, etc.—in essence art would simply exist as material at which to glance in passing.

Sharing the process exercised to create the piece enables the artist to meet critics in their respectively lit or dim recesses, and to relate through much more than a physical piece. Art—authentic art—should never be produced without intention; it should never be a futile piece, briefly triggering interest without provoking further thought and response. Whether it evokes repulsion, appreciation, confusion, etc. depends on the luminosity inside the viewer.

The question arises; do they, in turn, know what light (or darkness) pervades them?

inspired by suffering

suffering is a component of life. in fact, this world we live in constantly groans from the veracity and ubiquity of its presence. one cannot simply pick up and say, "i've had enough," and find a life devoid of it. sure, one can find death but who's to say suffering ceases? sure, one is physically freed--in non-existence--but what is this 'freedom' if a soul is still entrapped in suffering?

of course, then, you must agree that we are spiritual beings. if you don't, you must at least consider the notion. why do we crave worship? irrespective of religious belief, look at some tendencies; our world worships power, affluence, fame, beauty, self, ___you name it___ . simply existing, consuming physical space, fails to fulfill our human longings. and where do these longings birth but in the soul, aiming at a target in worship. i'd go so far to argue we not only crave worship but are designed to worship.

so, what of suffering?

my words cycle around it and through it--a dangerously enticing idea, intriguing but never a deep longing for its resurgence (unless, of course, for narcissistic, self-depricating pity...in which case, i suggest, one simply muddles in existence if through desiring suffering anticipates pity). the craving for  and development, maturation, rectification, etc. directly conflicts with the worship of self-preservation.

picture clay--used clay but no longer of use, tossed aside. but by the unnumbered days of monotony in the recycling bin and the unanticipated reparation through the pug mill, the clay is again molded and formed. i do not know what technically happens in the pug mill, yet, i know the clay is not designed for the purpose of experiencing the pug mill. the process, however, enables the fulfillment of its purpose.

i submit, then, to suffer lends to worship.

i am the clay [molded. formed. dried. broken. renewed.]