Mezclada (artist/designer)

The more I reflect on my intentions and purposes, the more I realize that I am a creation of multiple dimensions. Not in a schizophrenic, multiple personality sort of way, but rather I crave different avenues of expression.

Until recently, I confined myself into the Design Side. My type-A personality squeezed my free spirit into a pigeonhole of right angles and typewriter handwriting.

Disclaimer: I blame my Design Side for a lot—like spending several hours folding laundry because the toe side of the sock must be concave and the heel side of the sock must be convex so all the socks together form a unit. Scary, I know. And that was just the sock pile. Any sarcasm directed toward the “designer” is simply a reflection of my terribly boring and psychotic past—not because designers are all boring and/or psychotic…not saying you’re not, though.

Continuing on, I innately possess an eye for design. Some consider it a gift; I consider it the ability to produce by hand something my Mac could replicate ten times faster. I utilize my design side. And by utilize I mean my family and friends really enjoy the gifts that come their way because of the exploitation of DESIGNS BY LU. Stationary, house warming presents, bedroom décor, you name it…it’ll be wrapped with a bow for your birthday, the next holiday or some random time that I feel especially love-y. My designs are clean cut, minimalist, systematic. Classroom doodles turned brilliant—or crumpled up paper in the trash. The Design Side frequently annoys me because it is a reminder of the days when Perfectionism harassed my every waking second. The tedious replication that often pervades my projects causes waves of irritability that only subside upon completion, replaced with an overwhelming satisfaction—because of course, the end result MUST BE PERFECT.  Sarcasm aside, I truly am thankful for Design…mostly because the decorations that cost $176 at Cost Plus World Market hang on my wall, personalized, and the $176 is still in my bank account (or would be if I had that much to drop on décor).

Side note: I really do make gifts for people. If you need something made, talk to me.

Thankfully, my life changed. I mean big time turn of events, of which this is not the time or the place to share. If you’re actually interested, come say to me, “So Laura, I hear you’re an artist now,” and I’ll probably be really confused, then understand what you’re asking and finally proceed to be an emotional peanut allergy providing way too much detail about the transformation. CAUTION: this is an emotionally charged lady. But from a year ago when my friends continually counseled me to “feel my feelings” because I was a numb psycho confined in DESIGN SIDE, we have made significant progress, people!

I digress.

Raw. Shocking. Layers. Beliefs. Thoughts. Change. Time. Soul. Freedom: ART SIDE commence. Words fail to fully embody the magnitude of catharsis I experienced when I finally discovered the freedom of expression that evaded me for years. I craved to reveal the reality inside my mind, but feared it. Everything about it. Through the life change, Art became a safe haven. I didn’t have to edit or erase, simply express. I love mediums that change; that I can readdress; that are experimental; that depict my flow of consciousness. A canvas is my mute counselor and the residence of my free spirit.

I have recently dreamed of living in a studio, similar to the lair in Phantom of the Opera—the Hollywood version with Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum and Patrick Wilson. (If you haven’t seen it, let’s have a movie night because it is simply pure genius). I love that the Phantom’s “studio” holds nothing back. He creates and destroys and restructures and develops all thoughts and emotions into art. There is nothing clean-cut and minimalist about it. It is raw, and it is true.

I pursue truth on the ART SIDE. Not that DESIGN SIDE is a lie, but truth, even when ugly and painful, is imperative to my freedom in ART.